You could have 3 short great relationships in your your life instead of the one long sad one. My husband had an iPhone so he would block certain numbers before he came home so no accidental text/call came through, before that he would save the contact as unavailable so he could say it’s probably a bill collector and ignore the call… Once I busted him out on that he knew he had to step up his game… As did I , he downloaded a free text/call app… Actually several and before he’d get home he would delete the app off his phone and restore it when he’d leave, he also set up secret emails and used fake names, I found this out by double clicking the home button and all opened apps would appear.. As a child, my grandma shamed me over not crying over a family member’s death, telling me I was cold and she worried I was a sociopath (seriously, she said that and I was all of 8 years old!). My best friend died on Feb 22nd. The only reason I have not divorced is I don’t want to give up every other week (or even every other weekend) with my kids. I love him, we both are imperfect. If your spouse isn’t willing or able to meet your needs, then you need to either accept him the way he is or end your marriage. I identify with Andrea, sitting in a blind stupor for weeks while other people were crying around me. I was also the same when my grandparents passed and I sometimes feel I am a sociopath I sit at the funeral and everyone around me is balling their eyes out and I am just sitting there wondering why I can’t feel anything but I can cry or more sob but I don’t feel anything when this happens. you will feel the love inside your heart. The brittleness of my existence is just scary. I am seeing someone professionally but I feel like I have either bottled up every emotion I have ever had regarding my dad or I am broken and not normal. Sharry Wood January 26, 2020 at 9:02 pm Reply. So it bothered me that I’m currently numb, but I googled and found this site, and realize that I’m not alone. I know how he was and that he’d be so upset if I just gave up because I lost him but I don’t know what to do without him either. As a result, I’ve become an apathetic do-what-she-says-so-you-don’t-get-yelled-at type of guy who has zero emotional connection to my spouse (or really anyone else in this world aside from my kids) other than to raise our kids as well as we can until they are of age, at which point I can go my own way and maybe be happy pursuing my own things. My partner is going through this feeling of numbness three days ago we had a miscarriage an it’s been so hard for us both , I’ve been trying to hold it together an be supportive, she’s worried she lost all her feelings for me she kissed me three times an said she can feel anything no rang of emotions im trying to stay strong but I worry this may be the end of us an I love her so much , how can I help my beautiful girl the baby is still inside her everyone is praying for her that when she has it out she may regain some feelings but we are also so worried I love her so much so also doesn’t want to talk to a counselor ,I love her so much an don’t want to lose her I’d do anything for her , what can I do. gabrielle renaud February 13, 2019 at 1:38 am Reply, my condolences to you from what i read youre going through a crazy amount of stress right now i to just lost my grandma and godmother in a spand of 2 days also facing possible homelessness i am also slowly decaying from anerexia but from what i hear you are going through far worst if you need someone to talk to you can email me gabby.realrenaud@gmail.com id really like to hear updates on your daughters trial even help raise awareness if needed its a truly terrible thing i hope you find your daughter soon i am praying for you tonight <3, Natalie September 25, 2018 at 10:19 am Reply. Bruce Johnston July 31, 2016 at 5:35 pm Reply. I can understand where the ladies on this blog are coming from. When my mom went into the hospital my baby was only 2 weeks old and I was still bleeding. I was one of the last to learn of his death. This will be because you were already feeling distant in a relationship. I have tried everything. every time i close my eyes, i see his face smiling and i end up crying… it’ll be a week tomorrow and these past few days i have been wondering if i can still carry on and continue living without him. For over 3 years I stood for him as God encompassed me with his Word, encouraging visions, songs, words from family and friends, miraculous signs and wonders. Is there free Internet counseling or something anyone can direct me to? I am still interested in things, have a healthy apetite, am not avoiding thinking about it, her, or my respinsibilities. He says that we have grown apart, the therapist calls it a disconnect. Are you finding that it’s helping you connect to your husband? His work insurance had a high deductible which made it unaffordable for him to get health care. My best friend and husband passed away March 28th, 2020 with severe symptoms of Covid-19 and a condition underlying it that we knew nothing about, which was Chronic lymphocytic Leukemia.. But, how much can you expect? Then when she was born, I nearly died from complications. Then move on if all that is worth while has passed. I don’t feel emotion, just “feel”.. but never let it out. The thought of walking 40 more years like this is terrifying. Any advice is welcome, Cherie December 7, 2019 at 7:25 am Reply. I don’t even feel any emotion towards God, friends, family or work. There is a website I am encouraging you to visit. She was walking down the southbound lane on 45 Arden road when out of no where a car came and ran her over. My mum died April 21st,2016.We only found out that her breast cancer had metastasized a week before she passed, after a previous battle nine years earlier.She was sick for 8 months with what her doctor thought was a ” stomach infection” and then a return of crohns disease she had many years before.How can a doctor miss cancer to the point of the person only having days left to live.HOW?.My mum was my best and only real friend,She was the most amazing, selfless, and compassionate person I’ve ever known.She didn’t have to suffer in the end the way she did if her doctor had actually done her job.We had no time!! They will rub off on you! because what she did for us her whole life, she deserved at least us to be with her during her last moments. He jumped of a bridge into the river about 4 weeks after Mum died, but was fortunately rescued by a passer-by and a policeman. Here’s what I noticed. That maybe I didn’t love her (which I most definitely did). I never ever asked him to change I just asked him to make the basic emotional effort..the minimum. IsabelleS November 10, 2020 at 10:49 am Reply. I’ve felt nothing, no sense of loss, no grief. But neither of these moods are normal. Let me know how it worked out. Either she’s suffering from a hormonal change that has left her completely disinterested…. It sounds as if your dad was your best friend. I thought I would see him again. I don’t like going to therapy because I get into arguments almost every weak and don’t want to talk about them to my therapist. Cathryn January 15, 2018 at 3:57 am Reply. The link to the full article is below. I wonder if I will even get that ever. I lost my son suddenly to drug-induced suicide in July at age 22. I rarely made the 4 hour trip to her home for visits. I laughed at the sociopath comment because I was just self-examing yesterday and made a mental note to research the signs of being a sociopath. I have depression and other comorbilities so I’ve experienced this state before. What is your goal for your marriage, and how can you start reaching towards that goal today? I’ve never felt emotional loss/sadness when anyone I’ve know has died . He says he loves me but there never any action, words, or anything that proclaims it. We just keep moving along even though we miss them but it’s so strange to be numb. How Long Does It Take To Build Emotional Intimacy? If my husband can’t or won’t be emotionally available to me in the ways I need, I’ve developed a relationship with God that fulfills me. Well maybe not…. At random times a wave will hit me and I’ll cry hard for a second and then it passes. Humans are social animals: We crave feeling supported, valued and connected. I am at a point where I feel beyond neglected disconnected and it makes me start to think all kinds of things ! Well same this side.. My mum passed away on June 24 .. She had cancer.. Ironic moment, recently my mom asked “would you greif if I die?” sarcastically. Thanks Litsa for the reply – it was nice to get. We have three teenagers, we’ve been married 16 years, and I’m absolutely alone in my marriage. Elizabeth Wilson December 19, 2017 at 7:33 am Reply. I can’t imagine what you are going through losing him. It’s not about me/us grieving ( although, we have all this unknown, scary, upsetting various feelings and thoughts, we have to try to get through.. experiences.. and so on.. ) but the worst part is exactly that our beloved one/s had to go through all these traumatic experiences ( pain, suffering, being scared and who knows what, as in my case and other cases they were in a coma-state of mind.. and nobody knew what they might have felt, and just hoping they didn’t feel anything.. ) and what was going through their minds.. and then just taking their last breaths, being helpless to what was happening to them. 2. My mother was a mystery. It’s been a week now of feeling nothing after 4 weeks of grief. ... Letâs talk about how you can regain your emotional balance. But like you all there are only a few tears when I think of certain things. He drove his car when he shouldn’t have. I am annoyed and bothered but not crying in grief. This is a dangerous behavior, with studies suggesting tha. Now of course, I’ve been married for 7 years and have one 4 year old and two other step kids. We been through a lot, both sides making few mistakes along the way but no physical cheating… at least on my half.. not to sure about his. I’ve been doing various projects around my house but on weekends, it’s rare that I ever leave the house. He tried to force me to do sexual things with him and when I refused he would tell me how nobody would ever love me again if I didn’t do these things with him. Well, I won’t be alive much longer, which doesn’t scare or bother me because I am a Christian and know that I will be in heaven!!! In fact, Mental Health America found that 71 percent of people surveyed turned to friends or family in times of stress. They just have different expectations of what marriage is all about. Because you are feeling emotionally disconnected and hurt, you look for ways to hurt him. My Daddy died Christmas Eve day @ 1231pm. The man’s grown up, you too, the fire of sex that worked fine in your teens can’t drive the marriage engine on its own now. Please know that we, as a community, are here for you. But I can’t put out my feelings. I even think that losing my grandmother was harder, as I was going through a horrible time, and it was my strongest close encounter with death. The reason I’m scrolling and find your story so relatable because today, my younger brother died. We both wanted another child so two month’s later bam. He was young too, young for dying anyway. Reading your experiences you all seem so strong, I realised that I don’t have the fortitude to go on and on like this for decades, for some reason this experience took the wind out of me, robbed me of my own energy, left me hollow to the point that this move is literally to save myself. Knew the person I can think about the death of my father was a promise I couldn ’ have. Thing is to feel now reassure myself.. yet again, that maybe I could without... T occur for everyone that I am really mad at me asthma, was bipolar and had several.. After death this comment sure what actually happened but I used to know ’... Have contacted one ship and then I suggest you check out this dance that they a! Daughter ’ s neglecting me and now she ’ s specifically them that is what spiraled her of... He jumped out of a therapist, this happened I ’ m there comforting her as I even. Articles on guilt I believe that is what you are human and have high... 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